The question which has asked above is a responsible question and a complicated one. As per my views, let me explain everything about this. From the scratch of emotion towards any person is a self asking a question. Staying in any relationship and then ditching your partner for another person to fulfill your physical and psychological desires isn’t a choice to exercise. Yesterday I was going through the same kind of question asked above, the question belongs to a married person, he says he had been married since 18 years, having two children but his wife is in love with someone else from last six years. He knows about it but unable to do anything, he was asking whether he should allow her to marry him?
These are the problems that a lot of families are facing and becoming common these days. In this type of issue where the partner is having a relationship outside their marriage, other person or even the involved person doesn’t know how to handle the whole situation which creates a huge impact on families, especially in children. In the present time, if we just look why it happens, what to do when it happens and what kind of impact it is creating, how it can be resolved with the thought of continuing the relationship. If we take any major decision like allowing your partner to marry the person, it can create an inevitable effect on family and on children which can be harmful to their future ventures.
An extramarital affair is a relationship which takes place outside the marriage, between two individual who is not married to each other. It is also called adultery. We, humans, value love, affection, and the attachment for these emotions we get connected to others. We are all into relationship with the belief system that we are supposed to get loved, get respect, get appreciation and get acceptance from the other side.
And then when we don’t find it coming, forgetting very conveniently that it was not about getting, it is about giving. What happens is at home while living with the person for a quite long time we tend to change our partner as per our thinking because of other belief systems that my way is right. And to be happy you have to be the way I want you to be. That change doesn’t seem to pursued by the person but it results in fights and estrangement.
When we try to keep on changing our partner’s thoughts and mindset, results in not accepting them as they are and it is the root cause of disappointment and pique between two people. It is basically the lack of acceptance that causes rejection. This can happen between any of the two individuals into a family, a lot of rejection from family members tends to lack of attachment from them and then when you find someone else who do not demand any changes, keep on accepting you as you result into attachment and affection towards that person.
The state of mind is holding all the power of attachments and relationship we are living with. If my state of mind is stable while being with you, then everything will work out smoothly. But in the case of the instability of my mind due to some action of yours might be harmful to our relationship because it will keep on nagging me and irritating me resulting in moving away from you. Due to some belief system of ours in any relationship can cause the person to create negative energy around us. This negative energy will cause problems and issues in our relationship. that’s how it begins.
I think extramarital affairs can damage a marriage, family, and emotions of many people around us. This extramarital affair is used to signify a romantic relationship or encounter an external bond that takes place between a married person and someone other than their spouse. The main aim of having an extramarital relationship is to gain physical pleasure or to gain the power of acceptance and to fetch mental stability.
In the case of women betraying their partner is due to unsatisfied desires which get fulfilled by another person. Some kind of not being happy in the relationship and then getting attached somewhere else is the reason for treason for their families’ future. If you ask them about the repercussion of this are and yet they are doing this, they will reply that at least there is someone who can accept as they are, even appreciate and shows concern for them. They think that if the person who can keep them happy and joyful then why society abandons this kind of connection.
Actually, in any husband and wife relationship, they take care of each other but they have so much to take care of. Like the husband is responsible for earning and to satisfy household needs, the wife is in charge of taking care of the husband along with household chores. So when the feeling of rejection comes it demands acceptance with internal mutual care, that the bond is lacking somewhere.
In our Indian culture where marriages are not only a procession it had been compared to many holy and sacred ceremonies, where the connection exists for life even we believe that wedding is the symbol of eternal love not only between partners but it is for two families. It had been said in our holy books that relationship lasts more than life even for seven life of an individual. It is that much pure in our country. We are religious people and we believe in spirituality where weddings are for making bond sacred between two people. Marriages are not only for completing each other’s physical needs, but it is also about sharing an unadulterated bond for the rest of life.
Reasons for extramarital affairs
• unsatisfied desires
• past relations
• lack of acceptance
• lack of respect
• lack of mutual understanding
• absence of physical satisfaction
• emotional dissatisfaction
• intellectual dissatisfaction
• lack of trust
• career issue
• some kind of crisis in the middle of smooth life
• lack of affection towards the partner
The impact created by an extramarital affair
• can spoil the life of children
• can cause a psychological effect on the partner
• spoils the relation of two families
• cause bad impact on children
• can break the other person for life
Sometimes getting into a new relationship seems exciting and adventurous but the real truth behind sharing the intimacy can be bitter. Maybe you will feel best by getting into a relationship but after a certain time, the person can get changed all at sudden after enjoying with you. Even supreme court of India has struck off section 347 of Indian Penal code act making adultery legal not for romance but for dignity, equality and women empowerment so that the women should not suffer from any kind of misbehavior. According to the supreme court decision, adultery can be done with the consent of wife else lover will be charged for rape, making it ground of divorce. Making it legal doesn’t mean that it is right, it is made legal so that the women are not supposed to suffer.
Adultery is a choice to make. I have mentioned all the pros and cons of extramarital affairs. According to me, even if you aren’t getting caught by your spouse do not do such kind of activities by cheating your partner to gain short time pleasure. It may give short term happiness but can hurt you, even more, when one day you’re a partner will find out. It will make things sour later because there exists a fear of being caught. The feeling of guilt can make things worse between you and your lover. Because if a person can be loyal to its family, they will never be loyal towards anyone. It is a form of fun and guilt in the same part. Adultery can be a degree of shame and fluster for themselves.
Life is a blend of happiness and sorrow. Sometimes life is as beautiful as spring while on the other hand, it can become as dry as autumn. Married couples are meant to live together always. On that point of life when you will feel that yeah things are not working out together, then you can go away from that person. By the way, we should keep on trying to make things work. If your partner does not respect you and doesn’t care about you anymore for a long time. Then you are allowed to live separately. Every individual has the rights to take the decision of their life meanwhile keep yourself updated from every small detail of your partner. Do the things which you think you are not going to repent ever in your life. Life is all yours, take the decisions wisely. Marriage is considered a sacred ceremony in India and I think having an extramarital affair is committing desecration and can be equal as a sin.