Just like any human being, I am also conditioned by evolution to seek love, pleasure, happiness to re-create, grow and survive. In search of these need fulfillment, I came in touch with my beloved while in college and nurtured the relationship for four long years and then on one fine day he proposed. We started the journey and everything was like a perfect marriage. In a short period of just 5 years, two beautiful kids arrived in life to add another dimension of love. I got hooked in day-to-day upbringing challenges and he was hitting every milestone of life to climb higher in the corporate hierarchy. The frequency of sex declined with time as he was mostly outstation finalizing software sales deals in different parts of the world.
Say it mid 30s urge of extreme fulfillment or simply play of hormones, but the sense of vacuum was building slowly. The low frequency of sex was definitely not because of his non-availability but lack of passion. I was falling in insecurity trap of transgression with the fear in mind that my marriage could come under a cloud. He was mature enough to understand the need and limits, knowing fully that we cannot reverse the age clock to bring those passionate moments back. By nature, he was very open about communicative about the relationship and other issues. One day he shared an idea of sex toys with proper reasons and. The curiosity entered into the mental space and I bought some sex toys to give it a try.
I do understand that the frequency of sex in marriage rises and falls as marriage life progresses. That was not a matter of big concerns for me as the need for sexual pleasure is normally situation driven. It was a significant drop in the quality of sex that bothered me. The introduction to sex toys gave me the hope and in just one month of use, I realized the benefits of sex toys. Here, I am sharing my sex toy experience. Before going into the benefits let’s understand about sex toys.
Type of Sex Toys
My search for passionate pleasure and intimacy during sex ended when I experimented with some popular sex toys. The use of a sex toy is not about just heightened pleasure experience but a healthy signal for your partner to be ready for extreme excitement. The quality sex is judged by the engagement in foreplay, as it takes the little time for the adrenaline to kick the heights. Sex toy helps you elongate the foreplay. The most amazing part of the sex toy is that it fills the absence of your partner. Depending on your need such have cock rings, G-Spot, and prostate stimulation and to clitoral pleasure, there are several types of toys available in the market.
This sex toy is my all-time favorite as it helped me break the sexual boundary. Dildos gave me the real pleasure of penetration. I do keep a close eye on shape, length, and width of dildos while shopping, as little variation, could make pleasure painful. I like the slightly curved one more stimulating as it touches my clit and G-spot more elegantly. However, you have been little cautious about the quality of the product.
This is the most popular product globally for its simplicity and universality in use. I purchased one and used in solo, and I must say it was such a great experience. I frequently use to stimulate myself so that I could enjoy the intimate company of my partner in totality. It helps me in giving orgasmic climax at the perfect moment in the arms of my partner. So, theoretically, it helps me invigorate the highly intimate moment with my partner in a most mechanical manner. Well, the frequency and purpose of the users are a bit tricky. I have been using it at the regular frequency for the last 2 years and there is no issue of clit overstimulation or in responding to the ultimate real pennies.
3. Butt Plugs
Occasionally, I get driven by the temptation of adventure in sex life. There is nothing wrong exploring anal play using butt plugs. Although there no neurotic response mechanism in the anus, but this toy helps me add that much need thrill element in moments of extreme pleasure. However, I take all possible hygiene precaution and safety measures like lube before inserting the butt plug.
See these adventurous sex positions given by Elite Daily.
4. Clitoral Massagers
I am a big fan of clitoral massagers as it helps me when in low-mood and nothing works. Vibrators are good but the area of stimulation is very restricted. Since my man is always in a hurry and too focused on most sensitive parts, he usually ignores clitoral play. This toy helps me get that maximum feeling even afterward.
5. Anal Beads
Designed a little different from butt plugs, this toy gives me the pop feeling as the bead size increase gradually. Just like any other toy, it is a great foreplay instrument that helps me to hit the climax at the right moment.
6. Riding Crop
The heightened thrill at climax makes me seek more not at the G-spot but some external sensation. Riding crop, gifted by a common friend on the anniversary, really changed the mood as it gives a sense of control in the hand of your partner resulting in more intense gameplay. The impact play involving spanking, flogging helped me achieve that extra high.
Benefits of Sex Toys
Sex is all about triggers that fuel your desire to fulfill the bodily need of an orgasmic climax. In my case, it is not different as search for triggers and clues are never-ending. Sex toys are of great need to fulfill that need of trigger. Some of the top benefits of sex toys are:
Maximize sexual pleasure
One of the major motives behind my purchase and use sex toys is to maximize the pleasure it gives. Whether my partner is there with me or not it gives me the liberty to satiate my urge. I must say, the use of sex toys helped me control my emotional urge to seek a partner. Even when I am with my partner, the excitement it generates helps me every moment with my partner.
I use sex toys to enhance my sexual performance with my partner. When it comes to exploration in the intimate moments of a bedroom, these toys give me additional weapon in my armory to impress my partner. Since these toys somehow train you in the virtual realm, when it comes to real sex I give my best. Most of the toys are designed with a purpose to stimulate your sexual passion; it helps me when I feel low to recharge myself for with more stamina and libido.
As the frequency of sex goes down with increasing age, the quality of sex matters most to strengthen the relationship. In my case, the sex toys not just helped me fill the absence of my partner but kept me in a good mood so that we could enjoy quality sex. Regularity brings boredom. These toys helped me to experiment and break that sexual barrier of boredom. If counted, it helped me improve the atmosphere of my home.
If we go by the human brain chemical structure, sex helps one not just controlling stress but in maintaining the hormonal balance required for good health. Sex toys helped me to mitigate the stress-induced from the sexual loneliness and sense of neglect. Although, it is not a prescribed treatment of stress control it helps a lot in terms of physical gratification and confidence building.
These toys are designed by experts keeping the complexity of human anatomy in mind with a purpose to help you fulfill one of the most basic needs of human existence. I maintain proper hygiene and it helps me to cut chances of any sexually transmitted disease.
A sexless marriage is the outcome of modern life’s hyper senseless prioritizations. Once you progress in your married life it is very natural that the frequency of sex will fall. It is physical as well as situation reaction. But, if your lifestyle does not permit you frequent sex mingling with partners, it is better to focus on the quality sexual experience. You can get that using a sex toy of a different nature.
Marriage life is not just about sexual pleasure; it is more about an emotional bond. I always focus on enjoying the most memorable moment and create such an environment. I always try to keep issues in desires basket and discuss them in right time and context, so that the bedroom remains out of binding for external stress factors. I always try to control my anger and share my point of view only when the person is in a good listening mood. I have noticed that my partner is not always in the mood to have sex, I asked him openly about the issue. We went to the doctor for some tests, he is back to life with a new thrill. I enjoy the naturality most, and these sex toys help me achieve those natural instincts which normally subside due to daily tantrums of life.